“Being aware of a single shortcoming within yourself is far more useful than being aware of a thousand in someone else.” Dalai Lama
The only person in this world whom we can guarantee change in is ourself. Have you ever sat with a psychologist or seen one played in a movie? Then, maybe you’ve noticed their chief tool for therapy. It’s the question. Why is this? To unearth realizations about self.
Human psychology is such that self-realization is the real catalyst to change, so a therapist who wants to help her patient, asks questions that may lead to realizations.
When a person has become aware of a shortcoming within herself, she is far more likely to make a change. Conversely, if someone tells her she is wrong and needs to change, the human tendency to become defensive and retaliate kicks in.
This is how we know one’s quality of life is, to a large extent, an inside job. This is also why looking for shortcomings in others is a waste of time. However; being open to knowing more about one’s own shortcomings can enable change and growth. This growth within can inspire change in others by way of our example.
There’s a wise saying in recovery groups that goes like this, just focus on keeping your side of the street clean. The reason this one-liner is so handy to remember is because we can never force change in someone else. That’s their job.
This is why, being aware of a single shortcoming within yourself is far more useful than being aware of a thousand in someone else.
Bits of Wisdom Podcast #43