“True happiness, we are told, consists in getting out of one’s self; but the point is not only to get out — you must stay out; and to stay out you must have some absorbing errand.”
Henry James
What is true happiness? How many people have found it? What percentage of our population lives in true happiness?
I have only glimpsed it and grabbed ahold of it for moments, maybe a few days at a time, but True Happiness is something I continually strive for. Henry James had it right in my opinion — to have true happiness — we must get out of ourselves first and then figure out how to stay out.
One of the best-selling books of all-time, The Purpose Driven Life, begins with the line, “It’s not about you.”
The reason we have functioning bodies, the ability to love, empathize, and give is because we were made for others. Isolation and self-absorption are dangerous; they are a recipe for self-destruction.
The hardest criminals on the planet are placed in solitary confinement and kept from human contact for two reasons: they are a dangerous and because a lack of human contact is painful. To be in isolation is a very real form of torture because it keeps us from what we were made for, others.
Giving ourselves to others is the first part of Henry James’ statement; the second is having an ‘absorbing errand.’
What is an absorbing errand? It’s simply a purpose, passion, or mission greater than ourselves. It’s a personal striving that enriches those around us. If we can find our purpose, our fulfillment takes care of itself — our true happiness is a byproduct of doing what makes us come alive.
“True happiness, we are told, consists in getting out of one’s self; but the point is not only to get out — you must stay out; and to stay out you must have some absorbing errand.”
Henry James
Bits of Wisdom Podcast #59