Ten Maxims for a Meaningful Life
Enduring Principles to Live By
1. Meaning is the antidote for suffering.
Sometimes life seems like a continual challenge and it’s all we can do to just suffer through the days. I think of my friends and family members who have gone through battles with cancer. I’ve watched a few of them turn their suffering into meaning by using their trials to encourage others. So much of our suffering comes from a hyper-focus on self. When we take our eyes off ourselves and focus on helping others, we can find purpose in our struggles. If you are suffering, help someone else and you will quickly realize meaning is the antidote for suffering.
2. Everything of lasting value in life comes through relationships.
Relationships are the most valuable things in life. When we look at the end of one’s life, most of the time we see people at their bedside. Material things are quickly forgotten when life becomes foreseeably terminal. People don’t ask for their cars, jewelry, careers, or hobbies to join them at their bedside; instead, they invite loved ones to be with them. If we realize this now, we can prioritize life around what’s most important, relationships.
3. If you wait for the perfect time, you will be left with a belly full of regrets.
The most common regret at the end of life is not taking more risks. People wish they would have taken more leaps of faith, chased more dreams, and settled less. There is no such thing as the perfect time—waiting for one is a trap. There is only now, so make the most of it and begin today.
4. Don’t spend your life trying to fit into a box you were never meant to be in.
Graveyards are full of untapped potential. Why? Because we fear most what people think of us. The fear of judgment keeps us from moving freely toward our purpose. Instead of realizing our full potential, we quite literally bury it out of the fears of rejection, humiliation, and failure. Today, start betting a little more on you. Take a small step of faith, then another, and begin the journey toward your true potential, and never allow big dreams to be hindered by small men.
5. The mind is an instrument. Don’t let it play you.
The mind can be a great tool or a terrible enemy, depending on the way we program it. If we feed the mind negative scripts long enough, it self-destructs. If we script the mind with positive messages, it grows and strengthens. The mind is a dangerous or wonderful place, and our thoughts become self-fulfilling prophecies, so beware or celebrate, you get to choose.
6. "If you give freely, there will always be more." Anne Lamott
Giving opens us up to limitless possibilities. When we give, something inside changes—we let go of and gain something simultaneously. A gift has the power to change the giver and receiver. It’s a magical thing. As we give, room is made for more. Someone needs the gift you can freely give. So give and receive the gift of giving.
7. “All of us are born unique, but most of us die copies.”
We were given our uniqueness for a reason—to stand out and make a difference—and to share it with others. For some reason, we tend to try and fit in and hide what sets us apart; oftentimes, we try and clone someone else’s originality. The problem is this goes against our nature. It changes us from an individual into an impostor. Instead, embrace your uniqueness. Stand out—it’s what you were designed to do. Dr. Seuss may have said it best when he asked, “Why fit in when you were born to stand out?”
8. “What you seek is seeking you.” Rumi
We find what we are looking for. If we are looking for good, we find some version of it. We also find truth or lies depending on what we search for. This age-old principle, sometimes termed the law of attraction, is also Biblical. Christ said, “Seek and you will find.”
It is somehow built into the human experience, and if you believe it, you will find exactly what you are looking for, so decide on a meaningful direction for your life and never stop seeking it.
9. “When you judge others, you do not define them; you define yourself.” Earl Nightingale
The more we judge others, the more we hurt ourselves. To judge another, we have to first judge ourselves and determine how we are right and another is wrong. A critic’s life is no way to live; it’s a circuitous path to indulgent self-righteousness. Judgment, in some form or fashion, points back at the one casting it. The critic dies a slow death, one of a thousand cuts, and eventually realizes the wounds are self-inflicted.
10. "The whole future lies in uncertainty: live immediately." Seneca
We often get trapped in meaningless time travel. Visiting the past and future, two ideas we have very little control over. To do this, we give up the only thing that’s real, the present. When we live immediately, we have control, vitality, and a chance to make a real difference in life—and if this world has ever needed difference-makers—now is the time.
This writing is dedicated to my beautiful friend Charlene Lane. She lived a life that personified these maxims.